It’s a fantastic feeling–being productive. Getting shit done and accomplishing something feels good. Thanks to my and Anish’s work schedules (not really thanks because it sucks a lot), I have every weekday evening to myself to be productive and get shit done. But there are some days when all I want to do is switch off for the entire evening and do as close to nothing as possible. And yet when I do that I feel guilty that I’ve wasted time by not being productive.
In 2016 I watched 118 films. Ninety-seven totally new to me films and twenty-one films I’ve seen at least once before. Looking at these numbers, I personally didn’t see this as an accomplishment. But mentioning the numbers to friends or family, and their jaws drop.
The first two words in the tagline for this blog is “Personal blog.” I fear those words have lost their connection with what I actually write. Over time, it’s become harder for me to be totally honest and open here. Writing this post isn’t easy either. I’ve spent most of my time procrastinating by installing and customising a new theme, rather than writing.
File this under revelations while doing the mundane, every day life things. Perhaps revelation is a bit strong. Let’s call it a light revelation.
Sometimes when I’m out walking to the grocery store or taking a break from work and mindlessly staring out of the window, I have to remind myself that I live here. I live in Bahrain. The emphasis being on the I rather than the live. Despite having lived away from the UK for over a year and a half now, I still find almost pinching myself to believe hat I live in Bahrain.
No one on the Internet is living the life you think they are.
The opening line to last week’s edition of The Sunday Dispatches from Paul Jarvis. It touched a nerve. More accurately, it shook something loose in me.
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Google+, whatever your poison, they are all great. Great for you, for whatever you use them for. Whether it’s to keep in touch with family, friends, long-lost twice removed cousins, we’ve got a plethora of apps to be able to communicate with pretty much anyone.
But here’s the thing with me. I am insanely guilty of constantly comparing. Comparing what other people are doing to what I’m doing. Where they’re going. Who they’re seeing. Social media has made it that much easier to be able to see and hear that information. And I’ve let it bring me down.