Feeling like an imposter

Work

On the way to Bu Mahr Fort

In July this year I started what was probably my dream job. The job I’d been trying to figure out how to land since I learned about the company—at least four to five years. I was ecstatic. More than a couple of times I’d have to remind myself that I was now working for Litmus. Holy shit!

But there was a problem. Over the past four to five years of knowing about Litmus, and using their app, I’d put the company and the people there on a pedestal. A little bit after I joined I felt like an imposter. Second guessing if I was actually good enough to be working there. This is despite being told, almost daily, by the people around me that I am good enough.

The “imposter syndrome” isn’t anything new. Google it and you’ll find page upon page of search results all explaining what it is and how to overcome it.

I’ve not read any of them.

I know where my feeling like an imposter comes from—a lack of confidence in myself and the knowledge I have. Possibly a bit of fear too, that what-will-they-think-of-me fear. All of which is not new to me. Though I think I was better at hiding it when I was younger!

While I don’t usually set goals or make New Years resolutions, I do want to work on my self-confidence next year. Be more sure of myself because I know my shit. And if I don’t know my shit, I need to get out and learn. No more second guessing in work and everywhere else.

4 thoughts on “Feeling like an imposter

  1. OMG. I remember feeling this way, very much when I was starting my career in teaching. There is nothing like standing in front of a classroom and wondering, “How did I get up here?” Enter: all that mind rubbish that makes you want to freeze, run and hide!

    It does go away. I know I shouldn’t tell you this, right? Hahahaha. But I think it’s a natural part of wanting to do a good job, caring about your job and feeling the weight of responsibility. But again, natural, normal! Okay! Good sign, Jaina, good sign. You’re human!

    😀

    And there is something to be said about ‘faking it’. Really. You gots this, girl!

    1. Phew, I’m human after all! 😉

      It definitely is a sign of caring. Of wanting to do a good job. But just gotta keep that feeling in-check sometimes. Don’t want to let it take over.

  2. It’s normal to be a bit unsure in a new job. Many new things to adjust to. These things take time. I worry as well, but in a new job, I’m sure they will let you grow into it. Look on the bright side, you have the job you want and remind yourself of that. I suppose it’s a matter of getting used to responsibilities and co-workers. I think you will have less fear when you have been in the job for a longer time. At least you have a plan to keep learning, if you are lacking knowledge in certain areas. As Lani said, the self-doubt is a sign you care about what you do. Litmus is lucky to have a conscientious staff member 🙂

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